Posted by noa on October 17, 2000, at 6:48:40
In reply to Re: Guilt about depression - feedback please » quilter, posted by Rzip on October 16, 2000, at 23:54:29
Quilter, that theme has bothered me from time to time--others have had it worse. But I came into this world with some significant vulnerabilities, and the "match" with the parenting I received (tho certainly not the worst parenting) was not a good one.
I guess what I feel guilty about with regard to all of this is that I wish I could feel more gratitude for what is right, and not just be focused on what is wrong. For example, I am able-bodied, smart enough, had a good education (for the most part), have good siblings, have parents who have mellowed a lot in their old age, etc. etc. etc.
About 8-10 years ago, when I was in a better state of mind, I used to come home every day to my tiny studio apartment after a day at work, visiting disabled infants and their parents in the poorest parts of town, and sigh a sigh of relief, and say to myself, "ah, stable, affordable housing". What I had wasn't much, and I surely wanted more, but seeing these families in their situations (really dangerous housing situations often, on top of having to care for really sick babies and poverty and assorted other problems), really put it in perspective for me.
BTW, that stable affordable housing wouldn't have lasted for me. About 3 years after I left that town, the town repealed the 36 year old rent-control laws, and I would have been displaced!
poster:noa
thread:1090
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1179.html