Posted by Happyflower on March 25, 2007, at 14:20:56
In reply to Re: P.S., posted by DannaB on March 25, 2007, at 13:35:02
Hi Danna,
I didn't mean to sound judgemental, sometimes it is hard to write something in a postive way. I hear 2 different things in your posts. One you miss having a father's love and having him around. The second is that you want others to make up for that by "helping" you.
Helping you financially will never bring what you really want, your father's love . The 2nd best thing to that would be your mother's love, if that isn't possible, probably the most important thing is to learn to love yourself. It seems like you equate giving to you as love when actually at your age a father shouldn't be "helping" that much anyways.
A lot of us have lived simular lives, even worse ones. Some of us, including me, never had parents love, ever, and had to support myself and my brother financally by the time I was 15. I had to work full time to have something to eat and for my school activities while going to high school. I would have loved to have someone support me because really it was total neglect of my parents. I probably could have had an easier life if I wasn't on my own at 15. I am finally getting around to things I have never had a chance at when I was a teenager.But I eventually I was working successfully making big bucks at a job that I loved because I was determined to suceed. I was in this industry when I met my husband. Once I was pregnant, we both deceided that we wanted me to stay home with the kids. I agreed and still am home with them, but I lost huge, I lost my independence finanacially. Now it would be like starting all over again after 13 years. Now eventually when I do leave him(my marriage is dead) I will be on my own with 2 kids too. So I know what it is like, believe me.
But you are in a great place, getting your degree, the world is at your feet to make it what you want it to be. You will feel much better if you do it on your own, you will have to work harder maybe than others, but it will mean more to you when you are finished.
But as far as finding love that you didn't have, while growing up, I am not sure if you can ever get that. You can have a different kind of love with friends and future partner, with children, etc., but even that will probably still crave that fathers love. Sometimes I do too.
poster:Happyflower
thread:743359
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20070210/msgs/744132.html