Posted by LJRen on December 21, 2006, at 23:20:22
In reply to Re: bi-polar and being married, posted by khfreibe on December 21, 2006, at 12:47:29
> It is hard. He is constantly saying how supportive he is but he really isn't, not when it counts anyway. If we disagree on something he will tell me that I am f*****g crazy, or nuts. He asks me every day almost if I have taken my fruit loop medicine. If I am in a bad mood or if I try to confront him with something he's done that bothers me he tells me I need to go take some more medicine.<
Okay first of all, he needs to STOP making light of your disorder. "Fruit loop medicine"? Unless you came up w/ that name first, I'd be pretty pissed if I were you. That's down right disrespectful. I mean, a friend of mine will sometimes call my antidepressants happy pills but I called them that originally. Plus he doesn't tell me to go take one whenever I'm upset about something. Girl, you're a strong one if you don't lash out when your husband tells you to go take your meds because you're upset or bothered. Just reading that even made me want to smack him. ;) And this man claims to love you? He should think about that before he opens his mouth the next time you're upset.
How do you approach him when you are bothered? I know that if something really upset me, I take some time first to mellow out, then in a composed, rational manner I inform whomever of what my problem is with them. In my limited experience w/ bipolars, composure is not usually their forte. (Just had a bipolar coworker walk out on his job after less than 3 months b/c he was advised about being rude to others. He had a 8 mo. pregnant 20 yr old wife at home who then lost the baby the very next day. Something tells me his unmedicated bipolar ways stressed her out a little too much. This was his 3rd job in 6 months!) Anyway, if you do go to him rationally with whatever problems you have with him and he pulls that line on you then maybe you could remind him that even though you're bipolar and your emotions can sometimes go off the charts, you still have a right to your feelings. And if he's done something to hurt them, whether you overreact or not, he needs to pay attention to the action that brought on the hurt feelings to begin with. And, in loving you as much as you love him, hopefully, he will want to do whatever he can to make things better for you. Because, let's face it... if it's better for you, then in the long run it's gonna be better for him too. :)
I just got through writing something about couples where one has a disorder and the other doesn't and how difficult it is for each side to see things like the other. Don't know, maybe it might help.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060920/msgs/715407.html
I'm rooting for ya girl. Hang in there.
Ren
poster:LJRen
thread:714956
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060920/msgs/715588.html