Posted by LJRen on November 20, 2006, at 10:53:24
In reply to Re: staying away is getting harder to do » LJRen, posted by Gabbi~G~ on November 11, 2006, at 11:26:28
> I honestly thought maybe I could take something that would just make me sleep all the time and then I could stand it.
>
Hey, I do sleep whenever I can. It's the only time my brain stops running, running, running. and I stop feeling the pain.> Because depression can be so insidious that way, you don't 'feel' the small things that get other people through the day, you know? Like how good a bath can feel, or how nice something smells, or reading a good book, there's just that ONE person who somehow manages to temporarily cut through the gloom..
>
Why is that? Why does it all hinge on just one person? The one time he finally did call & we talked my life suddenly was at peace - from one stupid 30 min phone call.The fact is, being ingnored strikes to the core of some deep rooted childhood issues of feeling like I never mattered. And so have someone who means so much to me do something so purposely painful, it's beyond what my head can handle. And now, to make matters worse, my cat died last week, and I reached out to him for consolation since he knew the her as well. But again, I have heard nothing in return - no phone call, no email - nothing. To me, it's downright cruel to abandon someone when their cherished pet dies. But it also makes me realize how screwed up in the head he must be for him to do that b/c under normal circumstances he would never do that.
Thanks for your support.
Ren
poster:LJRen
thread:701107
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060920/msgs/705500.html