Posted by Tamar on December 23, 2005, at 19:33:32
In reply to 1st time-worries/concerns--*homophobes, don't read, posted by wyatthaslakefever on December 21, 2005, at 21:57:10
Yeah, I can imagine it feels a little strange to you, particularly if you’re quite a close family and you’re used to sharing things with your parents.
On the one hand, you’ve had this wonderful experience that was significant and meaningful, and maybe you feel a little different than before; perhaps it has changed you somehow. But on the other hand, it doesn’t feel right to tell absolutely everyone about it in intimate detail…
I don’t think many people discuss sex with their parents. I didn’t tell my parents when I had sex for the first time. In fact, the only reason they know I’ve had sex is because I have three kids!
If you feel a bit uncomfortable about keeping things from your parents, maybe you could tell them you’ve met someone, and leave it at that. You could say that you don’t want to talk much about it until you know where the relationship is going… I doubt they would *expect* you to tell them about your sex life. I’m pretty sure most sensible parents respect their children’s privacy.
As for the age difference… If you’re sure that *you* are comfortable with it, then that’s the most important thing. There’s nothing inherently wrong with age differences. And I agree with Happyflower: most kids don’t want to know about their parents’ first times!
And about hugging your father… I think I’d say that you can hug him because he brought you up to be the adult you now are: to live independently and make your own decisions. You are already living in the real world and you’ve left childhood behind you. Can you imagine feeling proud of your capacity to enjoy your sexuality?
poster:Tamar
thread:591125
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051204/msgs/591698.html