Posted by allisonross on November 24, 2005, at 3:28:28
In reply to Re: It Makes Me Nauseous Even to Think or Say This » allisonross, posted by TexasChic on November 23, 2005, at 18:51:31
> Hey, sweetie: You said all of the things I needed to hear, thankyou, thankyou.
These sound like pretty common feelings for your situation to me.
Yup, I know it. I wish I could hit the delete button and forget he ever existed. When I think of how many years I wasted trying to get him......to "get it." Geeeez!
eYou might want to consider what it is that you're really upset about deep down. Is it 'really' because you still want to be with him?
Because of the way I was raised (abused as a child), I would have rather have been with him even tho he abused me, than be alone)....scary, but true. My intellect fights my feelings; WHAT a battle!
ofThink about it really hard, imagine the scumbag in all his glory. Concentrate on the flaws. Maybe even make a list of them and put it on your bathroom mirror to remind you every day that you are SO better off without him.
I am going to do this; excellent suggestion.
>
> So what if he got with someone first? Do you really think that's going to be a positive, meaningful type relationship? Please. It doesn't sound possible for him.It isn't. He is a narcissist, and only knows how to communicate with playing with your mind. He also has something called a "disordered personality"...theapists hold out little if ANY hope they an change.
Just think about the type of relationships you could develope that he never ever will. He's not capable of putting another person's feelings first, so he will never know the feeling of a deep, meaningful relationship (this goes for platonic relationships as well). This woman is there because he needs someone to bully and make him feel like a big man.
I am sure right now, at least he is "snowing" her, because everybody thinks he is a GREAT guy. Abusers are masters at deception, and he has (almost) everybody fooled. My t says "unmarried 51 year olds are scary." He didn't explain, but I have a feeling I know what he means.
She was probably the first gullible woman that came along. His twisted idea of a relationship is nothing for you to feel jealous about.
>
> Try to get your mind off it by dating those guys you spoke of. Have fun and celebrate that you are no longer in that sitution. Go out and experience what it feels like to be treated with respect, by a REAL man.I LOVE to dance, so am going to start going to a dance for singles they have every Thursday. Even tho I may not meet anyone special, at least I will be doing....something!
Thankyo for all of your help, I do so appreciate it so much; things feel kind of bleak right now (I am not used to this, cause I have always been so positive, but I know I am in a grieving stage, and have to go thru this)......Geeez, when do I get a break?! LOL, LOL
>
> You go girl!So do YOU, gurl! Hugs and Love, Ally
> -T
poster:allisonross
thread:581203
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051031/msgs/581812.html