Posted by Tamar on November 4, 2005, at 17:20:27
In reply to Re: Everything's Changed » Tamar, posted by Susan47 on November 3, 2005, at 20:18:55
> I don't think so, dearie. Those days are far behind me, I'm not young enough anymore, that's the truth.
Susan, I know you’re one of the sexiest women on the planet. Age has nothing to do with it. Like Ally said, it’s all about attitude. And when you’re feeling good about yourself, you have just the right attitude. If you love your body (and I think sometimes you do) then other people will love it too.
> But what I do like about this age, is my feeling that now I can take my time, you know, and really appreciate what I have as I'm losing it .. can't you believe the irony in that? Life is just full of them. I hate that, that's what makes nightmares come. Ironies. But it's true, you know. They torture us with the sanity of it all. So now in any case, I'm at the age where I can attract guys for FUN and not feel bad about it, because there're no more ulterior motives for making myself happy. I just.. have that right.
Yeah, flirting for fun is the best way. I guess it’s partly about relinquishing the expectation that someone else can make you happy. You can be happy and someone else can add to your happiness, but even the nicest man with the best will in the world can’t make you happy if you don’t like yourself.
> Now if only I could get the message through to the right people, everything'd be cool. But do you know another Irony, Tamar? Here's another one. There are no longer the men out there who I find interesting enough to give the time of day.
Are you saying you no longer define yourself by your ability to attract men? That you’re more interested in your own feelings of attraction than in someone else’s response to you? If so, I think that’s a good thing.
> Which blows me away. Because I always thought I was stupid, I hid my intelligence even from me. Mostly from me. Even now I'm not sure I have any at all. I'm just a nutcase, a fruitcake, an idiot box.
If half my students could write half as well as you I’d be a very happy person. Of course you’re not stupid. Did you hide your intelligence because you thought men might find it unattractive? I know there are some men who don’t like to think their partners are intelligent, and I think it’s all about power in relationships… but that’s a rant for another time!
> Then how many guys, how many men do you know, personally, who are attractive enough and smart enough all in one package, to get your attention?
Me personally? I’m very attracted to intelligence, although appearance is quite important to me too. But I’d rather have a good, decent, honest and intelligent man than a man who oozes sex appeal if it’s a promise he can’t deliver.
> Well obviously, there aren't enough of them. Period. So the irony is that sometimes it's best just not to feel sexy, it's best and so many women my age do this, they squash it down and put it away before it's time. Others hang on to too little for too long, and others have Oomph till the final flame. I really would love to be in the last category. I even know people in that category. Always had it, never lost it.
> It's possible. I don't kow.I think it’s unfortunate if age were a reason to squash one’s sexuality. From what I’ve heard it changes over time, but I know people in their sixties and seventies who say they’re still going at it like teenagers, so maybe it’s a case of ‘use it or lose it’. Yeah, I wanna be one of them when I get to that point in life…
poster:Tamar
thread:547661
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051031/msgs/575433.html