Posted by Susan47 on November 3, 2005, at 20:18:55
In reply to Re: Everything's Changed » Susan47, posted by Tamar on October 30, 2005, at 16:43:16
I don't think so, dearie. Those days are far behind me, I'm not young enough anymore, that's the truth. But what I do like about this age, is my feeling that now I can take my time, you know, and really appreciate what I have as I'm losing it .. can't you believe the irony in that? Life is just full of them. I hate that, that's what makes nightmares come. Ironies. But it's true, you know. They torture us with the sanity of it all. So now in any case, I'm at the age where I can attract guys for FUN and not feel bad about it, because there're no more ulterior motives for making myself happy. I just.. have that right.
Now if only I could get the message through to the right people, everything'd be cool. But do you know another Irony, Tamar? Here's another one. There are no longer the men out there who I find interesting enough to give the time of day.
Which blows me away. Because I always thought I was stupid, I hid my intelligence even from me. Mostly from me. Even now I'm not sure I have any at all. I'm just a nutcase, a fruitcake, an idiot box. But I have to like that otherwise what was the point in living? So anyway, in any case, it's better to think I'm smart than I'm dumb. Even just thinking that way, seems smart. So okay. Then how many guys, how many men do you know, personally, who are attractive enough and smart enough all in one package, to get your attention? Well obviously, there aren't enough of them. Period. So the irony is that sometimes it's best just not to feel sexy, it's best and so many women my age do this, they squash it down and put it away before it's time. Others hang on to too little for too long, and others have Oomph till the final flame. I really would love to be in the last category. I even know people in that category. Always had it, never lost it.
It's possible. I don't kow.
poster:Susan47
thread:547661
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051031/msgs/575171.html