Posted by Susan47 on October 8, 2005, at 15:43:13
In reply to stud capabilities?, posted by Bob Jones on October 5, 2005, at 17:36:24
Do I have this right, so the what you're saying then is that,
1. You have empathy for this woman, not in love with her though. Some kind of balance is being struck in the relationship, with joy at one extreme and awful at the other.2. You won't have a child with her, but you have given sperm to a clinic, leading her to believe that it's a possibility.
You say "the next step is fertilization", which leads one to believe you may even go to the point of fertilizing her egg, but you say you won't have a child with her.
3. You have negative feelings about and towards her. The "towards" leads me to believe you're acting them out in some way? She must be okay with this.4. This woman is not your best friend. Another woman is. So on some level, you're closer to another woman than to this one. The only reason you live with this woman is because you're being a good samaritan? Is her depression your responsibility?
5. She came to this country on the pretext of marriage to you so that she could escape Romania. She wants a child. She doesn't care who the father is. She doesn't want to marry you. You don't want to marry her, or even be with her. Both your eyes opened and neither one of you can let go.
> I will NOT kick her out of my apartment and put her on the streets. The psychotherapist she is seeing does marriage counseling and I've asked her if she would permit BOTH of us to see him for a few sessions. This might be helpful but, of course, I would be deciding what to do. I'm going to give more time. How much time? I'm not sure. I know that we're only here for a very limited time, so it won't be in terms of years.Ouch. Been there, done that, it was not worth the trauma or the personal torture. I hope I'm wrong on every single count, for you. And if not, I hope you both are going to be okay, but wear a condom even if she says she's "protected".
poster:Susan47
thread:562232
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051002/msgs/564488.html