Posted by greyskyeyes on October 5, 2005, at 13:35:39
In reply to Psychiatric Disorder, marriage, and children, posted by Bob Jones on October 3, 2005, at 6:33:25
I'm sorry but it sounds so much to me like she's using you for your, ah, stud capabilities. Moving to Europe to have and raise a baby really sounds like she plans on excluding you completely from the process. Are you comfortable with possibly having a child with whom you would have little to no contact? Are you comfortable with bringing a child into a relationship with someone who is often oblivious to your presence? With someone who would issue such an arbitrary ultimatum?
Also... it's great that you've gotten her to seek a psychiatrist's help. But please keep this in mind -- most psychiatric medicines *cannot* be taken while pregnant! And having a child is such a life-changing event. It could seriously worsen her problems. That's what happened to me - my depression was under control so I went off medication to become pregnant... but it came back *much* worse after my son was born. That, along with the number of medications I need, have caused my husband and I to rethink our idea of having more children. It's hard to be an effective mother when you're battling such demons... counseling and medication help but it takes a lot of struggle and conscious effort. It's also a lot of strain on a relationship, even a strong one.
More than anything - please consider your own needs as well. I don't know your psychiatric history, but this sounds like something which could exacerbate *any* condition. And you just don't sound happy to me. None of us are trying to condemn you, we're trying to understand you and we all hope the best for you (if I may be so bold as to speak for everyone here). So please, take care of yourself. Keep us updated.
~ grey
poster:greyskyeyes
thread:562232
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051002/msgs/563209.html