Posted by crazy teresa on July 18, 2005, at 17:10:30
In reply to New to forum...need it in a BAD way, posted by Mountain Man on July 18, 2005, at 9:25:58
Why would one leave 7 years of marriage after only 6 mos. of bad? Especially when you have children? I'm thinking it was because of the other woman. And because you left your wife for her, she's unsure whether she can trust you or not. Apparently she can't, because you were going behind her back to see your 1st wife. (Doesn't matter if you were having feelings or not, you were being dishonest.) Stuff like that isn't about her (#2)--it's about you getting your way. Now that you're busted, you don't know what to do.
Are you in therapy? If not, it could help your relationships to learn things about yourself, such as why do you pack up all your stuff and leave when there's conflict? Are you running away or being manipulative? Why was the conflict not able to be resolved with wife #1? Why do you think being dishonest with your wife is ok? Why did you allow yourself to become so attracted to #2 to begin with? Was it just the high from romantic love? What needs did you have that your first wife wasn't fulfilling that you thought #2 would? Why did it move so fast with #2?
Maybe if you begin to get some of these questions answered for yourself, then you can figure out how best to deal with the women in your life. Therapists are great for that. There are also tons of books that could help. My favorite is "Changes That Heal". Being at Babble is a good thing, too.
I apologize if I'm way off the mark. I'm pulling off my own experiences here.
I'm very sorry that you're hurting. I hope things start looking up for you very soon.
t
poster:crazy teresa
thread:529457
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050627/msgs/529743.html