Posted by happyflower on June 26, 2005, at 20:50:51 [reposted on June 27, 2005, at 23:23:23 | original URL]
In reply to Re: relieved for therapy this week, very sh#tty day » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 26, 2005, at 20:37:34
> Your MIL definitely sounds very bad. Maybe not bad, but just very sad and lonely and confused.
>
Believe me I haven't even skimmed the surface of her. It would take years to tell everyone about her. lol There is no question about her, even my husband finally sees it. It is sad though.
> Something that has been helping me of late is to try to undersatnd the needs people have and why they act the way they do. Previously I used to think of people as being bad when they are behaving bad, and jealous and hurting others. But now I think - "Oh, how much of hell this person must have had to endure to turn out this way".. and to understand how much of suffering people must have gone through in their own lives if they have to turn it towards others.I think this is so true! I think there are so many of us that has endured so much. I think everyones past, either positive or negative, offects how they are as adults.
>
> Maybe your MIL is a lost cause.. but your stepdautgher might be worth putting more effort into having a relationship - since she has probably gone through a very difficult time in childhood and didn't learn the right way of coping up and is taking it out on you. Maybe you can try to help her seek counselling or try to talk to her with the knowledge that you have gained from your therapy. Sometimes when we extend ourselves first, people take it.My arms are open for her when she decides that she wants us in her life again. She is hasn't dealt with her parents divorse yet, and she is 26, and needs to get the anger out about it. All the years I have been in her life, she has taken her anger out on me, instead of her father who she is really disapointed in. He is a good father, but in her eyes he can never do enough for her. My husband and her had a major falling out about 3 years ago and they haven't even spoke to each other all this time. Me, I am just staying out of it, because it is between the 2 of them, and I don't want to be her punching bag. The problem I have with her, she is the oldest, she tries to influence her younger siblings not to love their father. Luckly they can think for themselves and we all have a wonderful relationship with them. :)
poster:happyflower
thread:520294
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050627/msgs/520298.html