Posted by sunny10 on June 22, 2005, at 8:02:49
In reply to Re: need new friend advice » sunny10, posted by Jazzed on June 21, 2005, at 21:48:10
without consciously meaning to, I pretty much done what you've both suggested. When she calls, I let a couple of days pass before I call back and let her know that I "just have a minute to chat- I'm rushing on my way" somewhere...Then I let a few days pass before doing the same thing.
She has stopped calling every day, which is good. I am not really that great of a telephone conversationalist anyway. I prefer to write email. On the phone, I am more like a guy. Pick up phone, set time and place to meet, hang up phone... This woman likes to talk for an hour.
The saddest part is that she's really nice. Has a great heart. She is just used to that terrible lifestyle and is finding it hard to climb out of it, monetarily. She is someone I would love to hang out with if she got herself out of that mess. And I HAVE spoken to her about it. She said she was going to take up hooking again in order to build up her nest egg again (to be able to move to a safer neighborhood, to be able to take a lower paying safer job, etc.). I begged her to promise herself that it would remain a means to an end. That she should keep in mind that this should not be her job. That she knows that she has low self-esteem and that this particular lifestyle can only perpetuate her feelings about herself. She agreed with me. But then again, she was enrolled in the AA/NA meetings at the hospital and has already told me she's still drinking. So I'm not sure her agreement with me means anymore than a shallow desire that won't actually be acted upon.
Maybe it's sorting itself out, though. With the fewer phone calls, I mean.
Anyway, thanks for listening and thanks for the suggestions. I really appreciate it,
sunny10
poster:sunny10
thread:516617
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/516978.html