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Re: Grrrrrrrrr My hubby does not get depression » gardenergirl

Posted by Chairman_MAO on May 12, 2005, at 21:17:59

In reply to Grrrrrrrrr My hubby does not get depression, posted by gardenergirl on May 6, 2005, at 22:54:34

Sounds like my father. My dad is too well-adjusted to understand depression. He's said things to me like, "Whenever I've been depressed, I force myself to start doing things to bring myself out of it. Why don't you try to actually do something to better your situation?"

Only recently are they starting to understand that saying that to me is like telling someone with Alzheimer's to practice remembering the names of their family members using flash cards.

"When are you going to be able to get off that medication?"
"Why do you feel you need drugs to function?"

It's even been hard for me to truly accept that my illness (even though I believe that term is metaphorical, since the mind can never be "sick" like the body) is a genuine limitation, mostly beyond my control, that deserves sympathy from others. It's strange how getting on the right meds was the only way I ever was able to realize this. What I was missing is this: I believe mental illness is a metaphorical term, though just as serious as a conventional illness. I believe that the ADs that really elevate mood, like MAOIs, will elevate mood in normal people. Thus, for a while--much due to family conditioning, too--I felt like I was just seeking a "crutch" or a "quick fix". And then I realized that even if normal people get a mood elevation from an MAOI, when they stop taking it, their life doesn't fall apart! Sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees. Man, I am rambling.

I guess my point is that your husband should surround himself with resources to try to get a handle on what mental illness is. Support groups, therapy, or maybe even just reading dr-bob.org, heh.

Those of use who have family members that at least WANT to understand are lucky, though. You should give your husband credit for that; it sounds like he wants to understand (otherwise he wouldn't be trying so hard to motivate you), even though it may not look like it.

ugh ...

Most community mental health centers have support groups for family memebers of those with depression/mental illness.


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