Posted by alesta on May 12, 2005, at 17:06:15
In reply to Re: realization » alesta, posted by Chairman_MAO on May 12, 2005, at 14:11:56
> As one of those genuinely nice, [com]passionate, loving guys out there, I spent many years not to long ago enmeshed in romantic relationships that involved women who only wanted someone who treated them like sh*t--which I was not capable of doing (what a shortcoming, right?). To this day I still have an insecurity regarding the fact that women always use me as a "fallback" or go out with me whenever the "bad boys" prove too much and they need a break and a sympathetic shoulder to cry on. Then they just leave me whenever they're ready for more abuse, all the while lamenting to me how much they hate being abused.
hello chairman,:-)
i hear you. i'm sure it is quite difficult dealing with these types of women...for clarity, i never preferred men who abused me per se..it just always ended up that way (i swear i'm telling the truth on this, lol). ppl can argue with me on that point...i see it coming..i would prefer they didn't, though.
anyway, for me it was more about being drawn to the guy who wasn't nuts over me..only partly interested. but now i just don't have the taste for that anymore. i actually want someone who is crazy about me.:)
> I once had a girl refuse to go out with me on the grounds that I was "not ambiguous enough" regarding the fact that I was falling in love with her. Makes me sick, it does.
yep, me too.:)
> It was incredibly frustrating and disheartening. It's incredibly reassuring to find that there are women out there who don't want to continue being that way!
i am *so* glad that my post could do something positive..i never expected that.:) thank you!
<My current g/f used to be involved (years ago) with a sociopath (in the words of her PTSD therapist, not me) who raped her, tried to suffocate her, and yet she still went back to him.
> It is hard for me to feel completely secure that she is done wanting to pursue the as*hole because of all of my experiences to the contrary with women in the past. Thank you for posting to let me know that there are other women out there who are like that but who want to change. I'm sure my g/f would thank you, too, because she gets pissed off at me when I hint that she might be going out with me, the "nice guy" simply because she was tired of pursuing the sociopath, and not because she truly found me more attractive and pleasant to be with.
well i wish you the best of luck with your girlfriend. i know how painful relationship problems can be. i truly hope you find happiness in your relationship.:) and you sound like you'd be quite pleasant to be with. i'm sure she feels this way, or she would not be with you!:-)
please take care,:)
amy
poster:alesta
thread:494271
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050505/msgs/496984.html