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Re: Dear Alesta » Susan47

Posted by alesta on May 2, 2005, at 13:56:59

In reply to Re: Dear Alesta » alesta, posted by Susan47 on May 1, 2005, at 16:50:35

hi susan dahling,

man i am totally stressed right now girl! my parents are coming home today, and a lot earlier than i thought..i have so much to do!!! and i'm a little anxious about them returning..i was just getting used to living alone. and think i might really like it.:) anyway, it's nice to wake up (yes, i got up really, really late today, lol) and be able to type you a message. might calm my nerves a bit..:) i so enjoy our little chats!!

> Oh sweetie, that must have been awful, everything, the broken foot, everything. Can we talk about it? Just let me, you don't have to read if you don't want to.

oh, hon, it really wasn't a big break at all..but, of course, any break is painful, and i couldn't walk on it..my supposed 'best friend' (i never really understood why i considered her that), thought i was faking it after it happened! she really snottily said, "oh come *on*, you can walk on it!" like i was being a wimp or something, lol..later in life she tried to steal my boyfriend..guess i shouldn've known from the 'foreshadowing', but she didn't succeed.:)

> In a big way I get that your family was worse than mine. Because your family wasn't even together, but mine was at least that. We took family trips all the time, lots of weekends spent roaming far and wide. Fishing trips, all that stuff.

yeah, i never did family stuff. at all. family stuff was being my mom's slave, physical and emotional. when i did do family stuff it was always what my parents wanted to do. like, my dad loved to play cards. and i *hated* it at the time. so when i went to his house, if i wanted to spend time with him, i had to play cards or watch football. fun....

<My dad took a special interest in taking me, I think he understood something about my artistic nature, I think he has it too. But his temper... man. I don't know if I ever wished him dead, but I do know my life was better when he wasn't around. Sometimes it was okay. But it was always tense.

i understand that completely..you're always waiting for the bomb to drop. i'm sorry things were so stressful for you. i'm glad he at least he appreciated your artistic side. it's nice to feel special like that.:)

> I feel so badly for you, not even having that much. I understand your brother being so close and important to you, because my siblings were the ones also who were bearing the torture with me, we were needed each other's comfort in that, but in the end we learned not even to give much of that. How old were you when you lost your brother? That's terrible, it's horrible.

i had just turned 16 when he died. i hardly ever think about him now. not sure if that's normal..although i know there's no 'normal'. with grieving. but i still wonder how i was so emotionally stable after he died, as close as we were..maybe it's cause i knew he really loved me. i don't know. and that i know i'll see him again and he's happy now.

well, i gotta jump off here, girl..i'll get to the other post when i can..i have so much to do..ahhhh! i'm getting panicked now..

amy :)


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