Posted by damos on April 27, 2005, at 21:53:33
In reply to Re: before we go there again, posted by sunny10 on April 27, 2005, at 8:43:06
Dearest Sunny,
I'm not sure that anything in life is about getting it 'right'. I think it's about learning to just accept it for what it is with no expectation or attachment, no wishing, hoping and dreaming it to be, just simply as it is.
This applies to people too, and I know I've been guilty of taking people and running them through my internal imaging software and morphing them into something they are not even aware of, let alone have any hope of being. Sadly I do a similar thing to myself only the image that I create is one that I have to constantly create new and excruciating ways of living down to. the real problem being when I begin to believe this image to be me 'true' self. Another added bonus being the totality with which I assign blame and responsibility for anything and everything to me (well I am the only constant aren't I?), completely absolving others of any contribution or responsibilty. But no more.
In the last 12 mths or so I have been trying really hard to stop labeling stuff as good/bad, right/wrong, etc, etc. I've also tried to stop assuming that there needs to be guilt or blame associated with everything. It's amazing how much easier things become when you stop loading every situation and event with life and death importance. It's also amazing how much more stable your self image becomes when it's not entirely dependent on other peoples actions, reactions and interactions with you. A simple example is that now I can just think it would be nice to get an email or whatever from anyone just to say G'day or whatever, whereas not so very long ago the fact that I never got anything from anyone used to crush me on a daily basis to the point where is sometimes wouldn't even logonto my email because I couldn't bear to see another day with nothing there but more work. Something else I'm trying to stop doing is making excuses for others behaviour toward me. They are responsible for it, and I am only responsible for how I choose to feel about and respond to it.
Well now that my train of though is well and truly derailed I think I'll shut up. Just know I'm very proud to be your friend and always sending you the very best of wishes.
XOXOXOX
Damos
poster:damos
thread:487630
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050325/msgs/490610.html