Posted by sunny10 on April 27, 2005, at 8:43:06
In reply to Re: before we go there again » sunny10, posted by Damos on April 26, 2005, at 17:41:57
I think that's right; that we have to "do it 'til we learn to do it right" no matter what "it" is...
I feel like your quote, but WANT to "do it right" this time...
I had a very interesting email conversation with a friend of mine. She has been in the US for eighteen years, but was raised in Moscow. As is my usual way, I meandered through my "point", being unable to state succintly what I was feeling/thinking, but she managed to get my point (amazing considering English is her second language- and I have trouble enough with it as my FIRST!). She summed up my point in four sentences.
I want to be honest with my SO if there is any chance of a future with him. No game playing, that is. But I won't tell him how much I miss having him around and sleeping next to me at night. Because to admit that "neediness" beyond a simple "I miss you" would only lead him to believe I would take him back without him making the changes he needs to make to act like a grown-up! And that would lead me to making the same mistakes again, thus not having "learned the lesson".
Another lesson that I need to learn is that I CAN be alone without being lonely. I have to be strong; and as "grown-up" against my neediness as he needs to be "grown-up" enough to be able to communicate with words instead of aggression, like kids on the schoolyard!! Or twenty year-olds at a bar!!
And so I begin...
Maybe this time I can get it right
poster:sunny10
thread:487630
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050325/msgs/490270.html