Posted by alexandra_k on December 4, 2004, at 10:51:03
In reply to Re: human nature » Gnepig, posted by alexandra_k on December 4, 2004, at 10:36:31
Hmm. I haven't acted out all of my fantisies, but I have acted out a fair few of them...
I know what you mean when you talk about forgetting arguments for stuff that is hard. I do that too :-)
I feel quite disgusted when I think of some of the things that I have done. I had to learn that fansasies are different from realities in the sense that sometimes we do not actually want that reality even though we think we do... I had to learn this the hard way.
I struggle a lot between wanting sex to be an act of intimacy betwen two people who love each other... and acknowledgement of its primitive power and animalistic side... and treating people as objects... and I don't know what is 'right' and probably here there isn't a 'right' there is just a way I would like it to be (for me) and I don't know if that is unrealistic or what...
I don't mind that people fantasise...
But I worry about where the people are at where they exhibit themselves for the camera. I wonder what could lead them to do such a thing. What kind of lives they have led. What kind of abuses they have suffered. And I think that there is something a bit sick and voyeristic about it all (talking clear cases of porn here).At this point someone always brings up some case or other of the happy child with the lovely life and the liberal attitude and how that porn star considers herself to be a movie star...
But as in cases of people who turn to prostitution I think that such cases are more the exception than the general rule.
I disapprove of people using prostitutes on those same grounds. But I surely would rather people used them than raped if they must act out. I just think that the whole situation is sad. And I feel a bit sick when I think about it all. And I think that I would so very much like it to be something different, somehting better than that.
But then I suppose that my abuse history influences my attitudes on this quite significantly.
I guess it would just kind of go some of the way towards restoring my faith in males to hear that not all of them consider pornography (and prostitution) to be acceptable. And it would restore it even more if any could genuinely say that (in terms of the realities) they don't get off on seeing women as such objects.
But maybe it is just a natural response...
And a natural thing to like...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:419858
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041118/msgs/424301.html