Posted by alexandra_k on October 31, 2004, at 20:30:23
In reply to Re: My tragic life..., posted by Jai Narayan on October 31, 2004, at 19:56:29
Hi Jai. I don't mind because I feel pretty anonymous here.
> Okay why do you think these people gave you the type of attention you wanted when you were a teenager?
It wasn't really the type of attention that I wanted, but it was attention that I wanted if you see what I mean. I was extremely lonely and had nobody to talk to. I guess I was an easy target. And so I was targeted, multiple times. I put up with it, and kept my mouth shut, and would go to see them of my own free will because any attention was better than no attention.
> I feel like my body is all wired up wrong now.
And so now, in terms of people who I feel physically attracted to, they are all unobtainable people who SHOULDN'T have anything like that to do with me. And I seem to not be able to feel attracted to my peers.
> I didn't meet my longterm mate till I was 38 years old.
:-) Then there is hope for me yet :-)
> I had some really bad relationships to distract me from being worried about being alone.'Arrangements' probably are my equivalent.
> Ask youself what is standing in your way...
I just think that I haven't met anyone yet. But then I don't understand why some people can go from relationship from relationship and why it is that I have never met ANYONE. But then I do not look to tell you the truth. I do not look.
> You sound like you have a busy life and maybe a mate would ask too much of you right now? Are you leaving the area? Do you want to get involved with someone now or when you arrive in....USA or where ever you end up?
Yeah, you are right. Rationally, I know now is not the time because I want to leave anyway. But then rationally, there may never be a time. I just hope that someday I feel both friendship and attraction to somebody appropriate. Someone who reciprocates. And someone whose own plans correspond to the direction that I want my life to take.
I guess that probably I'm still single because it is not terribly high on my list of priorities. My current arrangement suits us both well enough. I just find it somewhat embarrassing that I have never had a boyfriend. Or dated. I feel out of the loop of life.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:409437
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041015/msgs/409796.html