Posted by Kay-Len on October 19, 2004, at 16:07:33
to eveyone:
I am feeling as if I don't deserve your help or posts.
I haven't been here in a long time and it was not in relationships, But my marrige is the one thing I cannot figure this out by myself.im just going to jump in.
My husband and I have been together almost 25 years.we began a biz together many years ago it has become very sucessful...everything up to that point I thought i had a real marrige a partnership...we were equals {in my mind only}.
As soon as we became solid and becan to make some real money, he one day says to me im out ..YOUR OUT OF THE BUSSINESS...i was in shock...He never ever gave me a clue that he was using me untill he could afford to hire a girl to be at his side as I was. In the same conversation he told me the biz was his life. He claimed he still loved me and that it was a separate thing the biz from marrige.I will try to shorten this...that was about 8-10 years ago...today I live part time with my husband and part time in another state ...I have had affairs...he has told me he hasnt but he has had an emotional affair with his secretary and has abused me terribly with her ...she has lied about me and he said she {the secretary}..would never lie to him ...your a blank blank..im embarrased to say alot of the things he has said to me. OH I think it should be said I never in a million years would have turned to someone eles if my husband had not turned away from me.
He has always said he loves me and doesnt want a divorce...at the same time i discoverd he was tapping all phone calls ..I didnt let on ..i began taping his office ..i heard him tell the secretary one day ...shes gotta go ..we gotta get rid of her...shes mad because she was cheating and i found out....then he goes on to reveal things that could get him in trouble..and cheat me out of my lifes work....he tells her hide all bank papers and stocks and insurance...bonds anything worth anything HIDE IT ..or she will ruin me..he told her..{once again but six years later i was in shock...ruining my husband was the last thing that had ever enterd my mind ...but i stayed calm i listened ..I heard where the hiding place would be ...and i played dumb ...and the first chance i got I obtained enough evidence to keep me comfortable for life and get him in trouble ..possibly prison time ..well when he discoverd what is now the evidence was gone {he knows I have it and copies and in very safe hands..}he says wants to make the marrige work...but thats all he does is talk...he seems happiest when im away..but it is truly atlast getting better.my problem is that I am so stupid to believe him and after his betrayal of our bussiness ...and he hated me untill i had evidence against him..and i believes he loves me ..even as I say i KNOW he couldnt and do the things he did ..my heart tells me he was insane at the time ...things like that ...ive had to leave out alot of good things about him to have room for what he did...i know im supposed to take responsibility for me but when your lied to and you really believe how can I take the blame for his wrong doing?..I want to stay home now and be with him...we are having our first grandchild very soon...i want my family back full time ...and at times i tear into him because i cannot forgive and forget what hes done ...the secretary is sitting at my {used to be}desk elbow to elbow with my husband ..they laugh ...they tell their secrets...im on the outside and she is STILL AT HIS SIDE....am I as stupid as I feel??
Is it stupid to want my family back again??I hope ive not got this so long its put anyone to sleep....
thank you ....any and all answers are wanted and needed....please.
Kay-len
poster:Kay-Len
thread:404817
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041015/msgs/404817.html