Posted by just plain jane on October 5, 2004, at 19:27:46
In reply to After two-and-a-half years, posted by just plain jane on September 26, 2004, at 20:48:26
How WonderFul!!
(can you see the sarcasm dripping off that?)
The former b/f CAME HERE today.
He knocked on my front porch door. I didn't hear it, but the dogs did, and started their 4-alarm routine. He peeked in my back living room window. I picked up my phone and told him "No. Go away. I'm not talking to you."
I waved him off and held the phone up, "Leave. I'm going to call the police if you don't just go."
He thumped on the side of my trailer and said, "come on out, I have some hay," which, of course, made a difference in that I needed to tell him where to put the 1100 pound bale.
now, now, no suggestions. I paid for that hay.
So i went out and told him, "I'm not going to talk with you."
Uh huh.We unloaded the hay and I lent him my carpet scrubber so he can get his money-pit house ready for sale. And I agreed to babysit Dutch (formerly our dog) while he goes away for a few days this weekend.
He, of course, couldn't keep it topical, and I had to hold my hands up in front of me and splane to him what I am doing is for myself and I cannot continue, or have, a relationship, and hopefully he will continue with his therapy and do it for himself. blablabla
I did mean it, just telling it now seems so lame.Anyway, I finally got him out of here.
But WHY OH WHY does he have to ask, "So is this it? Are we done?"
I said, "Yes. I can't blablabla(for 10 minutes, I'm sure) so, if you DO feel you need to have the companionship of a significant other, don't wait on me. If you feel that way it should mean you've dealt with enough things and become healthy enough to get beyond me."
His eyes were glassed over. Like he was not in there.
I said a couple other things and he came back. And then asked if I would really have called the police. I told him I certainly would have if he'd had no other reason than just to see me and he wouldn't leave, got nasty, anything the least bit out of line.
And, yes, I would call the police. I've had them out here before, with the former husband, # ummm... # ... I lost count. Shyt! I had them out here twice. I don't play around with abuse anymore.
So, how STUPID was I to be this congenial with him? I hope it will not be a setback.
It got so bad before, I was so tense my shoulder muscles spasmed and were pinching my nerves, causing some downright excruciating hot pain and tingling. I'd have my teeth clenched most of the day and refuse to take my Xanax because I didn't want to run out.
Now I have muscle relaxers and the nerves are recovering some, but everytime I get anxious it does it again. Today, since he left, I am again finding myself with teeth clenched, muscles tight, a horrible headache. (I used to get one every time I saw him.)
Hopefully he will leave me alone now. I do not have to see him when I pick up and drop off the dog, and my son has a civil relationship with him, so he will handle recovering the scrubber
Guess I'll take some drugs. Hope they don't make me fade off into the night.
just plain exhausted jane
poster:just plain jane
thread:395489
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/399356.html