Posted by shrinking violet on September 19, 2004, at 18:53:30
In reply to Re: Question about boundaries? » Racer, posted by terrics on September 19, 2004, at 8:25:06
hm, interesting....
I'm very much a "people-pleaser," and I'll pretty much do anything for anyone if asked. Usually, though, this turns into a habit that spirals out of hand, and before I know it, I'm constantly doing things for others, whether I truly want to or not, and eventually they almost seem to expect me to help them out, which makes it a lot harder to say no (and gives a more negative reaction when I finally do try to draw some boundaries, usually because I end up feeling resentful and unappreciated). I guess I need to somehow find a middle ground....I think right now, I'm pretty much okay since I'm focusing on myself more (mostly out of necessity), and I've carefully stepped away from some people who were asking too much of me. But, I still feel guilty, and it's hard to come up with a way to help them when I can, but let them know that I can't always do it (or be expected to). It sounds easier than it is, though.
poster:shrinking violet
thread:392409
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/392721.html