Posted by Dinah on September 18, 2004, at 19:30:04
In reply to Question about boundaries?, posted by Racer on September 18, 2004, at 19:07:58
Good question. I've worked forever on this with my therapist, and I've gotten good with my parents. Which is probably because I have complete mobility when I'm with them and can just hang up or walk out.
I'm still lousy with other people though. And the less intimate I am with them the lousier I am. I can't bring myself to be impolite to acquaintances or strangers. Fortunately my standard default public demeanor is a vague unfocused stare, which puts off comment nicely, and can become even vaguer and more unfocused if someone is pushy anyway. If I'm feeling more robust I'm capable of an "I beg your pardon." With a period, not a question mark. But that rarely works because people don't notice the difference between a period and question mark.
I even had a toucher at work. "Accidental" brushes, stuff like that. I just took it. A coworker had a terrific surprised scream and jump. I wish I were a better actor. But me, I just took it and avoided.
I'll be interested if anyone has any polite but not embarassing ways of drawing boundaries with those you aren't intimate enough with to tell them to back off.
poster:Dinah
thread:392409
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/392417.html