Posted by hushpuppy on September 12, 2012, at 13:27:52
In reply to Re: crush on therapist, posted by sassyfrancesca on July 18, 2012, at 15:03:37
I don't know. At times I think the idea of transference is bogus but it does make some sense in my situation. I am a 58 year old woman who has been in a 30 year relationship with another woman. Back in early June I decided to get massage therapy because I'd been having lots of headaches, back and mostly neck pain and high blood pressue. I knew I was stressed at work and about life in general and I thought massage would help. It did! Tremendously. However after about just 6 weeks of it I found I had developed this strange but very strong compassion for my MT (massage therapist). It didn't feel like romantic love nor was there any leaning toward physicality other than perhaps a hug now and then which SHE initiated early on. She had told me some fairly personal stuff about her life around session 2 or 3 and it was bad stuff, which opened up the door to me in my mind for more of a friendship. When I expressed this all to her about session 7 or so, she took it badly. We talked a few times during which I tried to explain that I didn't want to cross her boundaries but that I cared about her and that I would like to be friends. She called me a few days later and told me she was terminating her services. She said "for now" so I wasn't sure where I stood. I communicated via email a few times and finally stopped at her shop to try to find out what the heck was going on in her head and she freaked. Told me I shouldn't be there and she seemed really angry and scared. She finally emailed me a few days later and threatened "further action" if I didn't leave her alone. Really sad, I just wanted to be friends and she couldn't deal with it. Before anyone comments that she's homophobic, I don't think so. I think that somehow I reminded her of the person who crossed her boundaries earlier in her life (and I have a suspicion it was really bad, maybe rape) or the situation did and she couldn't cope with it. She also was a very nurturing person (a male friend of mine who goes to her says that too) and my psychotherapist thinks there may have been both transferance and countertransferance going on. Either way, whether it was that or just real feelings on one or both of our parts (and by the way she is married and straight and in her 30's)it's really been hard to get over. Thoughts?
poster:hushpuppy
thread:1222
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20120518/msgs/1025505.html