Posted by kerria on November 23, 2011, at 11:00:55
In reply to Re: So hurt by T- need support » kerria, posted by Dinah on November 23, 2011, at 9:07:31
> I don't really understand, I think. She seems to have gone beyond what most therapists would do. Surely that denotes caring? Then she was angry with you. My therapist is angry with me at times too. It doesn't mean he doesn't care. I think it would be more likely he didn't care if he never got angry with me.
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> It may be true that when boundaries are bent in one direction, they may be bent in another as well. They are there for a reason. When a therapist invests themselves emotionally, it's harder to stay completely neutral.
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> Is this one of many things, or is this one instant in a relationship of caring? If it is, perhaps you could tell her that you really appreciate her offer, but it seems to have changed the dynamic of your relationship.
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> Most vets do want their surgery patients there first thing in the morning, fasted. If you can't get her there first thing, can you personally pay for the overnight boarding for the cat the day before the surgery? It's less expensive than spaying. Although, again, I'm not sure it would be in the best interests of therapy for a therapist to be this involved. As you've seen, it changes the roles and invites expectations.
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> Is there a reason your therapist is so invested? Has your cat had many litters? Can you keep her inside and separated from other cats when she's in heat, if you can't afford spaying?
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> Cats and dogs and children need certain things, no matter what is going on with their parents. If you aren't able to remember to be there on time, it might be a good idea to come up with alternatives that ensure the needs of your dependents are met when you can't meet them.Hi Dinah,
Thanks so much for posting. My T does care about me - she doesn't understand my disability at all though and that hurts a lot. It's not that i don't remember to be on time- it's that i need more time to get things together to plan to do anything as complicated at that. If i could have had a day and a half even- but the ONLY way she would do it was if it was the very NEXT morning- and that was only hours away bc my appt is in the evening.
my life is so frustrating. there are many things that are done that take up vast amounts of time and money that i don't agree with but can't stop- a symptom of my disorder almost nobody but me has-and no one usually understands but a T that i am going for help with THIS problem should at least try to. This problem is the only reason i am seeing her.
When T came in to the appt- she has just been back from her vet- she has animals in the rooms sometimes but not usually with me bc a part of me feeds feral cats. She's probably afraid they will catch something. She cares a lot about cats, my cat does need to be spayed- and i would feel much better for her to go to a better vet than the one at a large clinic- all that i can afford. Why ever did she say- NO- THE VERY NEXT MORNING when she knows i had a thousand things to do to prepare for the appt- they wanted faxed records of vaccinations and no food after 10pm- i never have enough petfood and had to go shopping How could i send her without anything the night before? we were using carrier to try to catch a cat abandoned by owner in neighborhood and it needed to be cleaned.i needed to make sure kittens were in a secure place
- everything is so unorganized at my house and takes much longer- most plumbing not working, etc, she knows all that as i'm open about everything.
She knows all the times my h. was violent driving recklessly to terrify me recently too and that i had to stay in dom. violence shelter. why ever would she call my h. and ask him to drive us there?? It was the worst nightmare for me.
Then tell the vets that i am a "multiple problemed person" just bc i asked if it could be the day after instead of in the morning.If your T called you that to someone at place would you feel good about going there? If
only some one could be in my shoes.And when she came in she was pressured for time- booked up every hour and rushed to get back from the vet, obviously rushed and upset- she even said something like'i am getting like you- running around like crazy caring for animals -'(that hurt a lot bc it's a symptom of my disability) showed her schedule plan saying angrily 'You don't work like i do.' i wish i was able to - it's terrible to have this disability.
Anyways people with my disability can not usually be ready as fast as others can. everything is harder. anything unforseen will happen that is difficult to deal with even when i try my best.
poster:kerria
thread:1003353
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20111017/msgs/1003442.html