Posted by Dinah on November 23, 2011, at 9:07:31
In reply to Re: So hurt by T- need support, posted by kerria on November 23, 2011, at 8:42:43
I don't really understand, I think. She seems to have gone beyond what most therapists would do. Surely that denotes caring? Then she was angry with you. My therapist is angry with me at times too. It doesn't mean he doesn't care. I think it would be more likely he didn't care if he never got angry with me.
It may be true that when boundaries are bent in one direction, they may be bent in another as well. They are there for a reason. When a therapist invests themselves emotionally, it's harder to stay completely neutral.
Is this one of many things, or is this one instant in a relationship of caring? If it is, perhaps you could tell her that you really appreciate her offer, but it seems to have changed the dynamic of your relationship.
Most vets do want their surgery patients there first thing in the morning, fasted. If you can't get her there first thing, can you personally pay for the overnight boarding for the cat the day before the surgery? It's less expensive than spaying. Although, again, I'm not sure it would be in the best interests of therapy for a therapist to be this involved. As you've seen, it changes the roles and invites expectations.
Is there a reason your therapist is so invested? Has your cat had many litters? Can you keep her inside and separated from other cats when she's in heat, if you can't afford spaying?
Cats and dogs and children need certain things, no matter what is going on with their parents. If you aren't able to remember to be there on time, it might be a good idea to come up with alternatives that ensure the needs of your dependents are met when you can't meet them.
poster:Dinah
thread:1003353
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20111017/msgs/1003434.html