Posted by Dinah on August 7, 2011, at 13:53:26
In reply to Finally trusting the relationship, and then this -, posted by annierose on August 7, 2011, at 11:55:45
((( Annierose )))
I'd feel hurt, too. I agree that she should have called you before giving away the time.
Perhaps my therapist isn't the best person to judge by, but when I call for an appointment, he checks his book. If it's not written down in the book, he might well not remember that he's discussed the time slot. I'm that way myself. I rely on my lists, and if something isn't written down I likely won't remember it. Even if it's important to me.
(Mind you I do still occasionally remind him of the time his tooth broke and he absentmindedly *scratched off* my name from his calender to put in a dentist appointment, then forgot to tell me.)
I'm absolutely one hundred percent positive that she didn't deliberately choose someone over you. Even my most cynical internal voice would tell me that that isn't something a therapist would do with a long term, more than once a week, client. And that's the most cynical voice I own!
My more reasonable voice would say that it was an error she probably very much regrets. If this happens again, would it be possible to have her pencil you in and tell her you'll call if you can't make it? Or at least it will be a reminder for her to call you to check before she grants it to anyone else?
Now, mind you, I would be very distressed by the overtones of sibling rivalry and probably would have some thoughts of not being loved enough to be remembered. No matter how much I reminded myself that life happens and even the most alert and organized person, such as my husband, can forget something that isn't written down.
If she did write it down and then crossed it off, I will join you in a verbal tongue lashing and you have my permission to remember it for over five years, as I have.
poster:Dinah
thread:993053
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110706/msgs/993070.html