Posted by Annabelle Smith on April 24, 2011, at 18:11:32
In reply to Re: Trapped, posted by sigismund on April 24, 2011, at 17:25:27
You guys know my situation. Please, please, please, what should I do???
I am not even totally sure that I would be allowed to defer at this point, but I could check on it Monday.
It's just that if I go that path, then there is no turning back. I would be slapping the program to which I have already been accepted in the face. I would in effect, be taking a year out of my life-- an interruped year-- to do nothing but be in therapy and live in this community. There is a chance that I would not be ready to leave in one year-- that I would be really attached and would feel like I could do good work with my therapist and that I couldn't stop. Then what? Another year doing nothing?
To stay here is the safest option, except that it makes me feel great regret and longing. My therapist told me-- and I think he is right-- that I was only able to verbally express my excitement and desire to go to Boston after I had committed to staying here.
But I worry that staying here is keeping me in greater bondage. Maybe there are other ways of healing. Therapy is not the answer to everything. Maybe putting my energy into other things. There are sooo many resources for my studies in Boston. Boston is like the Mecca of theological studies. I could take courses at 10 different schools, and there is so much diversity around.
But I am really afraid to go. I wonder that I am really not yet ready. There is a danger in staying and a danger in going. If I did defer, that year of waiting would be extremely tormenting-- wating and waiting and wondering if I made the right decision. My mom has told me that if I don't go now, I might never go. That makes me really scared. I don't think it's true, but...
So what would you do?
poster:Annabelle Smith
thread:983652
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/983661.html