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living in the now

Posted by Annabelle Smith on December 19, 2010, at 1:08:37

In reply to dismissed, posted by Annabelle Smith on December 18, 2010, at 22:44:50

Also,

as I am home, I think about this.

I just want to be able to appreciate the moment that I am in. When I am at this house, I think of how things used to be. I know that one day, if I live to this day, I will want things to be how they are now, but they will be gone forever.

christmas with my family
cooking with my mom
talking and laughing with my dad
the smells and feeling of being home.

I will miss all of this so terribly.
I can't appreciate what I have-- even my therapist. This happens in therapy too. I am here with him now, and yet all I can do is see the problems and worry about when it is over. But it is not over-- we are still doing therapy.

I want to just be able to relax while I am home and appreciate the moment. maybe just try to love my family and my life for what it is right now in all of its messiness. watch a movie with my mom. bake something and listen to christmas music like we used to. i don't know if i am merging again and need to differentiate or if this is just healthy relationship.

:'( I feel sad.


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Annabelle Smith thread:973748
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101115/msgs/973965.html