Posted by Verloren on March 8, 2010, at 9:57:27
In reply to Re: Just what Exactly IS wrong with me? (LONG), posted by rnny on March 3, 2010, at 23:40:07
Yeah, this has been very emotionally terrifying and stressful.
Even though she makes me insecure, I think I can work through this. But I will be careful not to risk any more of myself than necessary until this seems stable. My pdoc says to "tiptoe in" and to move cautiously. I plan to do that.
I feel owed. I feel she should make it up to me. I deserve that. I know that does not realistically happen in life's relationships. but it's what I want. I think if it goes well and we do work through it, then I will be in a better position to deal with other important relationships that go wrong. I usually just run away from bad things in relationships. I'd like to not feel like that's the only thing I can do - run.
I like to think I'm a bit more objective about therapy this time around. And maybe that will help me go into this without the colored glasses on.
But I don't agree that she's just hired help. She's not like a maid I just hire to clean my house. She's more than that. I know you understand the bonds and intensity of emotion one feels for their T from your posts about your retired T.
I can't just disregard her as someone I pay to help me. Maybe I should. Maybe that's the key to good a therapeutic relationship? Callousness?I hoping she thinks I "need" to see her because there will be a benefit from it and from continuing the relationship.
Very scary but I guess I should stay alert, hopeful, cautious, and honest to myself about my feelings.
-v
poster:Verloren
thread:938273
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100303/msgs/938911.html