Posted by Verloren on January 5, 2010, at 23:31:33
In reply to T says I have poor manners! I am very upset!, posted by rnny on January 4, 2010, at 16:21:37
Rnny, I so sorry it's seeming like you and your T are just not "clicking". That's very frustrating.
I also feel similar to tetrix and lingonberry. I have muttered comments under my breath toward my T and have even become snotty when she didn't say/do something I agreed with.
I also get very frustrated when I feel she isn't pulling her weight. After all, she went to school for this and spends each day in her profession. Not only should she be at the top of her psychoanalyst game, she should also be extremely nurturing, respectful, guiding, and above all agreeable. But it isn't like that. I expect all these wonderfully insightful things from her that I forget it's not about how savvy she is, it's about the process and me within this process. Her and I have disagreed to the point where I yelled at her and told her "do NOT say another word". Thinking back, I probably really hurt her feelings and should apologize, but I like taking for granted the fact that she can't/won't say much to upset me or anything she thinks will rile me up.
Your T, on the other hand, seems to not hold back and maybe she feels that's the best approach for you. I would definitely suggest having a calm and sincere heart-to-heart with her and let her know how it makes you feel. This is the T that said you hurt her feelings, right? Well, it seems like she has hurt yours, so please talk with her and make sure she knows that.
You guys may not be meshing so well and if she's good, then she has picked up on that. And if she's picking up on resentment you have toward her for not being your other T, then she could be exhibiting counter-transference in response. And she acts it out by saying you hurt her feelings, or your manners need improvement, etc.
Talk it out and see if you guys can work through it. If not then consider your other options.Good luck and let me know how it goes.
(lol, and all this from Verloren who is never usually this insightful when it comes to her own problems)
poster:Verloren
thread:932479
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091212/msgs/932637.html