Posted by workinprogress on December 23, 2009, at 0:42:06
In reply to Re: Sharing my story (Very Long Post) » workinprogress, posted by Verloren on December 22, 2009, at 21:44:55
Hey there Verloren-
I wish I could say they lessened when I talked about it, but that wasn't exactly how it worked. I think they got more intense, because I opened up and trusted her more. What happened was, over time, with more conversations (we talked about whether my feelings were ok numerous times) my anxiety and beating myself up for my feelings (or trying to push them away) lessened. That stuff's gone pretty completely now. But I'm still working through my attachment with her- still have worries of abandonment and still have a pretty tight grip on her in my mind I suppose.
She's still ever present really, but it's not usually painful anymore. All I can say is, you'll have your own process, but the process works... pain and attachment are often a part of it.... but as my therapist just shared with me, we often learn the most when we are in pain.
Good luck and keep us posted.
WIP
> Hi WIP!
>
> >
> >What I would say though, is that given how intensely painful transference is, we look for any way to alleviate it. Maybe Ada gave you some alleviation, some assurance that you weren't bad for feeling the way you do. I know I was looking everywhere for that, even when I got up the guts to talk to my T and she told me so- I needed someone outside the room to tell me that what was going on inside was ok. Maybe that's part of what's up with Ada?
> >
>
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> My goodness, I read that and thought "Exactly!" I was soooooo afraid my T would look at me with disgust if I admitted my feelings to her. Even if she didn't show it on her face, I would've still felt like she was thinking it inside. When Ada told me it wouldn't be that way and that my T would likely not respond negatively, I DID feel relief. And it was so much easier to talk to Ada about it since I didn't have the feelings for her, I had nothing to lose. With my T, I risk losing everything we've done so far.
>
> How did things work out after you told your T about your feelings. Did they lessen?
>
> Thanks for your support. I'm glad to have found people who understand even if it seems like we're all struggling through this process.
>
> -Verloren
>
poster:workinprogress
thread:930143
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091212/msgs/930466.html