Posted by Dewd on December 17, 2009, at 18:55:34
In reply to Re: Longing for Ts kindness, posted by Dewd on December 17, 2009, at 18:55:14
its been so hard being all 3 of us u know, i tell her that she seems distant, she tells me its because of all the pain ive gone through recently like losing my friend since he passed away. i think shes right because if i looked at it the way she does i would realize that nothing has changed and that calling her my friend was in a way "semantics" because what i have with her isnt lost because we cant be friends, i dont know im hanging in there.
last session was fun, we laughed alot because i brought in a list of things they recommended i do like breathing exercises, to doing new things, to writting in a journal,
im like hey guys hang on look what ive got, ( bam i pop out the list) the supervisor goes like great lets hear em , and im like okay here hehehe let me lay em on ya and i start rambling on how im on a diet eating vegetables and then i go on to say how i bought a 20 piece kfc bucket with my cousing and we all just laughed, i realized then realized how hilarious that was . its cool this is how it used to be before i called my t a friend, and its cool how when i think about it she really hasnt changed and neither have i , what she gave me i havent lost its almost like when i open my eyes shes right beside me lol sorry that was strange huh?
man lol i said i wouldnt write a lot i hope this is meaningful to you Helena. What it all means to me is that i finally found that missing piece ive always wanted. I never really told anyone but my t that ive always wanted to be understood and loved but all ive gotten throught my life is rejection, i bursted into tears and she leans over and says "i would never reject you" it almost feels like when you have that missing piece you are at peace like u have something that no one else in the world has exectp you, after all this happend i actually dropped from school and decided to skip the last months ( im going back though :)__) it felt like my heart was broken, by the one who knows my soul, yet she seems so strong i know that deep down she is gentle and fragile and i treasure all that she is, both her strenghts and her fears, even though she hurt me i still love her . im thinking of writting her a letter for the holidays to show her how much she means to me i think you should do that too that would be cool! And Helena, i know this is totally tough but try to find strenght in all of this, remember all the good times and know that your t still really cares and you mean alot to ur t too :)
if its okay to ask it would be really nice to know how it happened, hang in there
poster:Dewd
thread:929583
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091212/msgs/929756.html