Posted by Helana on December 17, 2009, at 13:26:17
In reply to Re: Longing for Ts kindness, posted by Dewd on December 17, 2009, at 10:24:10
Dewd I was just as happy you would share your story, that's why I felt compelled to respond.
I couldn't imagine having to have a supervisor in my therapy session. That's gotta be difficult. I would do it though, it goes back to that making my T happy thing. You know the issues I was talking about that distanced my T...they are the ones about hugging and being friends and that transference too! I feel so much better like I'm not the only one. But I still really feel for you. On one hand I wish my T and I could have a supervisor, but on the other I like that we can keep it between ourselves. What makes me really confused though is I could tell I really liked her from the beginning and she liked me too. All's we did was get to know eachother for like the first three months or so and she was so important to me. I completely understand the best friends thing. At like three months I wrote a thank you letter saying thank you for being my best friend and I'll love you always...something like that, but i wrote it in her native language and she seemed to be genuinely touched. Anyway, she initiated hugs and we hug for awhile more of like a holding. Then she gave me her cell number and told me not to tell anyone and to call her whenever I needed to. THe confusion, sadness, and hurt comes from her all of a sudden stopping all of that and telling me we've changed and she thinks it's better for all of us. It's like they call it our transference like it's our problem when it's so obvious that at some point they enjoyed it as much as we did. Then they realize it's not helping or whatever and now we need to just get over it and not need it anymore. At least that's how I feel. So now that i've rambled again I can't wait to hear your rambling ;)
> Aww thanks Helena, im so happy that you would tell me your story it meant a lot to me :) Ill try to reply the best that i can since ive only had half my breakfast right about now lol You know its like my jaw just dropped when i read your comment, that is kinda how i feel too... my t has me with her supervisor so its like all 3 of us in the supervisors office talking about my "transference" the supervisor says that it was slowing my therapy down you know. It hurts so much because when my t first brought it up she sounded kinda nervous and was like i hope thats okay, i looked down at the floor and managed a smile and said sure... i know exactly how you feel Helena, u know, doing things because you love ur t and want to keep hoping it will get better. Since my friend just passed away that was also her client i decided the way i can be there in support of my t is by trusting her more and not losing all the progress she and i have seen in my life, so as you might have guessed im there all 3 of us, but it hurts though cuz i feel so sad my friend passed away and she says that she needs to make boundaries about hugging, and that all phone calls are directed now to the supervisor until i can manage to work past the transference.
>
> Its frustrating because i called my t my best friend because that was how it felt, u know? with a best friend you can tell them anything and know that they love u for who you are, theres no longer a distancing but it becomes very meaningful, so in my lack of better words i said that she was my best friend, although it was just a way of describing what i already had with her, and not that i felt we needed to be something more than patient-therapist.
>
> Im hanging in strong because im happy to be with my t and become closer by telling her all of this now IM sorry for all MY rambling hehehe :)
poster:Helana
thread:929583
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091212/msgs/929714.html