Posted by Dinah on December 16, 2009, at 11:39:01
In reply to met with the T after rage fantasy, posted by deerock on December 15, 2009, at 21:01:50
What sort of therapy does your therapist do?
It might be that psychoanalysts are more likely to be able to tolerate rage?
After all, if your therapist does CBT therapy, for example, she would be more likely to see herself as your partner or teacher in helping you find healthier ways to interact with the world. She might see therapy as a microcosm of your world, and use your interactions with her to help you improve your relationships with others.
My therapist has said flat out that he has limits and he expects clients to respect them. He always has been fine with my expressions of rage, but in discussing the fact that he's fine with it, he's been clear that if it was continuous, he would consider that he wasn't perhaps the right therapist for a client. To be clear, that wasn't a threat or an attempt to control my behavior. He's been clear that I've never been anywhere near his boundaries. It was just an expression of how he sees the role of client rage in therapy. He thought it was very therapeutic of me to express my rage, because I am sometimes not in touch with my anger towards him until a week or so later. But if it were habitual with me, he thinks it would be unproductive for the sort of therapy he practices.
He's not an analyst, and I think he thinks that therapy is a place to examine my behaviors and cognitions and how they affect my life. I think he'd probably work on helping me look at how I respond, point out how it might not be in my best interests, and how to express myself in a way that pragmatically brings better results.
She will deal with your rage, as with all things, in keeping with her theoretical orientation. If this doesn't meet your needs, it's fair to acknowledge that and seek someone who does. Perhaps an analyst. It would be something to ask up front, I think.
On the other hand, her style of letting you know how your words affect her, and that boundaries are important to her, might help you in understanding the reactions you get from others in your life, while at the same time she reinforces the fact that she wants to work with you and is committed to your therapy.
poster:Dinah
thread:929464
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091212/msgs/929555.html