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Re: fired by my T

Posted by pegasus on December 11, 2009, at 13:54:55

In reply to fired by my T, posted by deerock on December 11, 2009, at 8:07:34

Deerock,

I would say that if you want to work with a female therapist, you need to find one who is skillful at holding a lot of anger directed toward her. It's not that uncommon, and I bet a lot of therapists have significant experience with this. But it could sure throw someone who is not ready for it off balance. As it seems to be doing for your current T.

It sounds like you may have some male-female issues that would be worth working out with a female T, if you can find the right one. Or, maybe those issues are more peripheral to what you need to be working on, and so a male T might keep things focussed more on the top priority stuff.

I am guessing (but what do I know?) that there are real reasons for you to be angry with your T, and then also that that anger connects with some larger anger in your life. So, you maybe get more worked up than your T might expect on the face of it, at least in some cases. And then the therapy situation is such that we are supposed to be able to talk about these things. But it can be tough to handle someone describing a violent fantasy they have toward you, for example. I think this would be especially true if the T has any history of real violence in her past.

So, maybe this relationship is a bad fit for you. If you do look for another T, I would recommend that you bring up the anger that you feel in this relationship in the first session, and see how they respond. I think you'll want to find someone who sounds like they'll be able to skillfully hold a lot of your anger, and is willing to take that on at the beginning.

just my 2 cents

peg

 

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poster:pegasus thread:928822
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091022/msgs/928868.html