Posted by onceupon on October 2, 2009, at 4:34:24
In reply to Re: an emotional trifecta - some triggers - long! » onceupon, posted by Daisym on October 2, 2009, at 0:52:28
Thanks so much for your response, Daisy. I wish I could provide more support to you. Have been finding myself triggered, and therefore avoidant, in response to some of your posts. I appreciate that you're willing to share how our struggles have overlapped.
You make a good point that the fact that my therapist answered my question is meaningful. It's been on my mind for a long time, and I ended up just slipping it in when she was talking about scheduling.
I like how your therapist communicates to you that he is *your* therapist. And what you said about the little things that make people special to each other. Sometimes I get so tied up in thinking that I'm just plain not special in the first place, and that, given everything else she has going on in her life, there is no way that I could be special to her specifically.
I do know that, for me, suicidal thoughts indicate increasing depression. I think I've gotten over most of the shame in needed medication; there are other factors around this for me at the moment (e.g., no pdoc, new job with pretty inflexible hours to go see someone, concerns about feeling emotionally blunted on the meds, etc.).
I like your suggestion about acknowledging the good sessions, while also talking about the worry. It feels more balanced to me. Sometimes I worry that I must seem like an ingrate (!) and I've been working to communicate my genuine gratitude more often. It's hard to feel like I keep coming back with the same "negative" stuff.Lately I've been trying to figure out whether I have loving feelings for my therapist. If they're there, I haven't quite found them. It feels as if they should be though, and I wonder if I can't find them because I'm just generally having a hard time accessing *any* loving feelings right now. This might seem like a silly question, but I'm curious what your loving feelings toward your therapist feel like. Is there any way to describe them?
Thanks so much for your post.
poster:onceupon
thread:919225
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090907/msgs/919380.html