Posted by muffled on July 15, 2009, at 10:35:40
In reply to Re: Still no response -- to anything ((Sigh)), posted by TherapyGirl on July 15, 2009, at 6:58:35
I liked what annierose said too TG...
FWIW, I have kept my 'relationship' w/my present T, very surface, and she is that way too. Big boundaries and strict.
She is not cosy. I don't want to know about her.
She is not 'supportive' in 'that' way. She is a sounding board for my emails, she gives me info, reflects on things I say etc.
She is a TOOL for me to use.
Cuz ya, leaving my last T hurt. It hurt that it didn't seem to bother HER one bit!
So I keep suggesting you find some support ie a T, but you say you don't want to be hurt again. But what I am saying is this new T is just to help you get thru the grief. NOT to be a special person or anything...
But maybe thats easier for me to do, cuz of how I am, I dunno...
Anyhow, w/o hearing your T's side of things, I can't REALLY know what is going on. But it DOES sound like she herself has had some really big life changes going on, and that she may just be barely coping herself in her personal life. She's a person like any other and for all we know she is hanging on by her fingernails too...
I agree that it would appear she has handled this badly.
But maybe thats all she can give, maybe its all she has left...
She is human.
IMHO, which I of course realize doesn't really amt to much, but I think maybe you can't really contiunue with your T, she seems to not be able to cope adequately, for whatever reason, and all the gnashing of teeth and wailing won't change that, and in fact perhaps adds more pressure...
I know SO BAD you want T back, but maybe it just can't be :(
Maybe instead of contining to torture yourself over this, you need to walk away, give yourself and T some space.
Let T know you have (hopefully???) sought another source of support.
This way you can end w/her on a good note.
Maybe still touch base now and again to know she is OK. I bet she would like that.
But right now there is TOO much emotion and 'stuff' in T's life, too much emotion and 'stuff' btwn you two guys, just TOO much...
Sorry this is long.
I honestly think you can get thru this TG, but its crazy hard, but you will get thru it.
((((((((((TG))))))))))))
I hope you can find a counsellor of some sort and start a new 'relationship', whatever that might come to be. It might be a breath of fresh air having a new T with new ideas and new ways of working. Could be kinda interesting.
Sorry if I am annoying :(
Give your sweet baby a pat and a scratch on the tummy for me :)
M
poster:muffled
thread:906084
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090706/msgs/906855.html