Posted by lucie lu on March 5, 2009, at 18:26:42
My DH and I were in couples therapy this evening, as we have been for the past couple of months and its been going OK. But tonight, we touched upon sensitive subjects, and I went into a full-fledged meltdown. The T knows about my trauma background and has been sensitive to it, and quite honestly so has my DH. It was the subject matter, a problem between us that replicates my past, and I just lost it. I was crying hard and so angry, I was beyond rage. I'm glad there were no weapons handy. The T saw that major buttons had been pushed and was concerned because it was the end of the session and I was a mess. Next week he wants to do a double session, which he normally doesnt do, so we can address these areas but provide me with some sense of safety. I dont feel at all safe now, I feel like I am flipping back and forth between now and then, and then wasnt a very safe place to be. Right now I've pretty much barricaded myself in the bedroom and I'm not sure when I'll come out. My DH, to his credit, is giving me a wide berth.
Im not sure how to express this, but it can be devastating to realize how thin the line can be between feeling like a civilized being and having these primal feelings erupt and spin so completelt out of control. That realization means that nothing feels safe anymore. Do we ever really rejoin the human race.
poster:lucie lu
thread:883952
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/883952.html