Posted by seldomseen on March 6, 2009, at 6:11:11
In reply to OMG Meltdown in session, posted by lucie lu on March 5, 2009, at 18:26:42
I'm so sorry that you had to experience all those feelings. As other have indicated, I think you are very strong to express them in front of other people. It takes a lot of courage to let them surface at all.
I spend a lot of time on the wild side of things and, as I've said, am particularly comfortable around most things non-human.
In my opinion, the expression and feeling of very primal, sometimes even murderous thoughts doesn't preclude us from being human, in fact, I think it puts us squarely in the entirely human realm.
I've been spending a lot of time around my nieces and nephews lately and one could argue that they are just a feral as any wild animal I've come across. I've observed the way that they experince and express emotion and it is quite intense and hurtful to them (poor little things), but they are learning to regulate and cope with these emotions because they have a great mom.
I don't know your history, but I grew up in a harsh (understatement) environment where my feelings were punished,I learned very very quickly not to express them, which then translated into just not having them. Far from the safe environment that fosters development. Therefore, I never learned how to deal with these all too human emotions in an effective, healthy way. So when they did come up later in life, they hurt - a lot.
I think the way you feel is all too human, and although it hurts right now, these feelings can be wrangled and modulated to be less painful.
Please take care and try to be a good mother to yourself.
Peace
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:883952
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/884021.html