Posted by Dinah on February 11, 2009, at 12:01:34
In reply to Therapist retired but we still are in contact., posted by Freudiannic on February 10, 2009, at 18:06:13
I'm with Lucie. What you described isn't good therapy behavior, good mentor behavior, or even good friend behavior.
Have you talked to him about whether he is comfortable with the current arrangement? Would it be better for the relationship if you clarified it by paying him for his time? We always complain about having to pay for their caring, and of course we don't and can't pay for their caring. But we can and do pay for their setting aside time for us.
Is his health ok? Health can affect relationships in a lot of ways. Actual physical and mental changes, fear and resentment towards health concerns, or concern over what will happen to those who depend on him if something happens to him, could all lead to some bad humor.
Everyone has moods of course. And we forgive the occasional mood from friends. But if this is a pattern, it might be a sign that something else is going on.
Believe me. I totally understand. My therapist moved three hours away and I preferred driving to see him than seeing anyone else. (Fortunately he moved mostly back.) He also played a huge role in our decision not to move our family a few years ago. Someone of my acquaintance moved to a new city when her therapist did. It's not at all odd to me that the attachment be this strong. And I'm not at all disapproving.
I'm more concerned. Not that you need to move on, but that your relationship may be in some difficulty now.
Open, calm, reasonable discussions aren't easy. But sometimes they are the only chance for change and improvement.
poster:Dinah
thread:879299
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/879434.html