Posted by Freudiannic on February 10, 2009, at 18:06:13
I spent my 20s in psychodynamic therapy utilizing some psychoanalysis for about 9 years with the same therapist. However, my therapist moved to a state in a different time zone. Before he moved he said that we could continue therapy using a webcam and a program called net meeting. Prior to his moving, I was in undergraduate school about two hours away from him.At times I would drive the full two hours to see him. When I left for graduate school we continued the webcam. He gave me a years notice that he was retiring and moving. He said we could keep utilizing the webcam for sessions.
About a month before he moved, he decided not to continue treatment using the webcam. I was quite angry because I purposely went to a grad school that was nearby his office.
Moreover, I bonded with this therapist and it was a major blow that he went back on what he said.
Currently, we talk on the phone for about an hour and a half each month. In addition, we also exchange emails about politics they can turn into topics about my mood, my missing him, him telling me he would see me in the spring when he comes back to the east coast. The latest is that he plans to move back to New York in a year or so. I am sooo tempted to move back to the city he lived in just so we could continue therapy. That makes me feel totally pathetic.
Nevertheless, I still feel like a patient. I know he didnt want me to feel abandoned but its kind of sick that I still love this guy like a parent. I miss him tremendously and it is confusing for me to place a label on our roles. He is no longer my psychologist and I am no longer his patient. I know labels are unnecessary but I find, as in therapy, he had the "power." I mean all patient doc relationships are based on the doctor patient role.Thankfully, I have great insurance where I can see anyone in network for unlimited visits with a $10 copay. I raise this issue because my therapist recently sent me a bill from 2005 for phone calls. I have paid for phone calls in the past. I am questioning why he raises the topic again? Could he be confused about boundaries and thus sent the bill to remind him or remind me that he is the doctor and this is strictly a professional relationship which is hypocritical because the mentioning of a bill from 2005 after he told me he understands that I view him as a mentor. When he last came to the area I live in we made plans to see one another.
Frankly, I see him as a parent. My father died while I was under the psychologists care. About 12 hours before my dad died, I said, "I hate you and hope you die." So I have been unable to bond to anyone new since my T left. I asked him what he thought about me seeing a new therapist and he was all for it. Then he said intense psychodynamic therapy probably won't work for me because I did the majority of the work with him.
I am really confused about his mixed messages. If anyone can shed some light on this log post (sorry), I would appreciate it.
poster:Freudiannic
thread:879299
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/879299.html