Posted by onceupon on February 10, 2009, at 23:29:17
In reply to Re: If my Therapist doesn't call...... » onceupon, posted by Sharon7 on February 5, 2009, at 22:39:13
> You know, I actually had sort of like a moment of clarity (or maturity? nah. couldn't be that!) but I was wondering if my implying my t doesn't care about her patients may even be insulting to her, because I know she became a psychologist to help people with their problems. It makes her sound like a cold hearted person, but she's not.I think someone else already posted it below, but I imagine that your therapist understands that your perceptions of her aren't just about her. I hope that doesn't sound harsh - I don't mean it to.
> We've actually never had a conversation about it. I always avoid talking to her about it. The most she'll do to encourage me to discuss the letters is to leave them laying right out in the open on my next visit. When I see them there, I react as if they are radioactive and basically freak out until she puts them away! I'm not even gonna waste my breathe asking her not to keep them. See, I've been seeing her for 1.5 years, but I went to her originally because i had been grieving about my husband leaving me and getting divorced.. 8 years ago! I just got stuck there. Anyway, only recently have I begun to feel better about that and she did help me get better where that issue is concerned, but now all this crap resulting from my childhood has risen to the surface and I'm finding these things nearly impossible to talk about. I need to try and open up to her more. I just need more reassurance that she's not going dump me. I hope she can help me with it, though. It's really no fun to be 44 and feel 14 on an emotional level (on a good day. lol!!)I hear you on this one. I'm 31, and feel about 5 on an emotional level much of the time that I'm in therapy :) It seems like therapy (for me), goes back and forth between processing day-to-day concerns, and getting into "deeper" stuff. I find it frustrating to have to switch back and forth so much, because it feels like it takes a lot of gearing up to get to the deep stuff. I'm guessing that more frequent therapy would help with that, but I just don't think it's feasible for me financially.
I am glad to hear that you've found some resolution about your divorce. And I don't blame you for avoiding talking about the letters! It's a risky undertaking, to be sure, but probably valuable too. And here I'm speaking mostly hypothetically because it takes me ages to work up to discussing my relationship with my therapist.
> Because I'm like crippled when it comes to expressing my feelings (because of the way I grew up) and my vigilance to make sure I don't do or say ANYTHING that could result in my being abandoned or rejected, makes it impossible for me right now to open up about stuff like love and feelings. I don't know how to. She might need to try and help me give voice to what has never been spoken. She seems determined not to do that, though. We always have plenty to talk about, though, with all my other my bad behavior, but i think the escalation in my 'self-soothing' has to do with the anxiety I have about what's happening (and not happening)in therapy and with my therapist.It's funny how it's all interconnected, huh?
> Take care. Keep up the good work! It's nice to know I'm not the only one struggling with this (but that doesn't mean I'm glad you're stuggling.. you know what I mean.Thanks, you too. And I do know what you mean. Babble's been a lifesaver - even if I don't find resolution, I often find comraderie, and that feels just as important.
poster:onceupon
thread:878066
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/879357.html