Posted by Dinah on January 2, 2009, at 16:17:21
In reply to Optimal Frustration, posted by DAisym on January 1, 2009, at 23:56:58
I can only say that it wasn't that long ago that I was posting about the same sort of anger, and I now really do feel peace about it. I'm not sure what changed in me that I could accept he actually cared. And I'm not sure it could hold up under strain.
I think it's entirely possible that your mother might have something to do with it. If not with direct transference, then at least in maybe making you feel more clingy? Even though I'm relatively fine with the relationship now, even small disruptions can make me tearful and limpet-like. (sounds so much better than leech-like doesn't it?)
My therapist was planning to be out of town today, and I ended up leaving a message on his machine along the lines that I didn't remember if I'd asked him if it was ok to call him. This is a tradition at the end of each session, and if I forget to ask or he forgets to offer, I generally head back and stand by his door until he laughs and says it. So I'm relatively sure I asked. But just a short absence was enough to make me want to call for reassurance. I was lucky, perhaps, that I didn't have my phone on when he called back and he left a warm and amused reassurance on my answering machine. So I can transfer it to my iPod and have it always.
But even so, I felt anxious inside until he called and said he had postponed his trip. So maybe a combination of his actual vacation and spending time with your mother?
poster:Dinah
thread:871870
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/871954.html