Posted by Deputy Dinah on December 22, 2008, at 17:15:06
In reply to Re: Please clarify and/or rephrase » Deputy Dinah, posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on December 22, 2008, at 15:39:23
> Well it really doesn't explain what my T said or the message of what I wanted to say.
>
> She said something about how friendships should be give and take and unfortunately it seems like I fall into relationships as the role of giver. Then when I need support, I become disappointed and hurt because I don't usually get to receive on the other end of friendships. I need to maybe give up on friendships that are one sided only and infest my time into relationships that would be give and take so I will have support that I need. Does that help my statement?Well, it is better, but I think other posters might still feel accused and put down at hearing their relationships with you are one sided only. Particularly since they may not feel that way themselves.
It might be better to say that you feel you have needs that aren't being met at Babble. Or that you feel you need to invest less at Babble, in order to feel safe. Those would totally be statements about yourself and your own needs, and wouldn't be accusing or putting others down at all.
It would be fine too, to talk about how PTSD affects your current reactions, as long as you don't jump to conclusions about the motives of other people's actions, or lead them to feel accused or put down.
It isn't always possible to relay exactly what our therapists say about Babble or Babblers. Even my therapist, who often takes the opportunity to work on my interpersonal skills, is in the end my advocate. He will likely see things from my point of view. Sometimes, before he got to know the Babble civility rules, he'd suggest I say things that would totally be against the civility guidelines. I'd have to explain to him that although Babble can be considered a support group and can be therapeutic, it isn't a therapy group. Some of the things that would be appropriate to say in a therapy group aren't really allowable to say under the civility guidelines.
I hope this makes sense, and if you have any specific questions, feel free to Babblemail me. And thanks for being willing to work with us on this.
Dinah, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
poster:Deputy Dinah
thread:870259
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/870314.html