Posted by 10derHeart on November 24, 2008, at 22:27:59
In reply to Re: I'd like to get to know the Babble therapists » Phillipa, posted by Dinah on November 24, 2008, at 20:52:20
Hey I wonder if we could find just the right dog for mine? I think an image like that would be funny in a smile-to-yourself way, and also comforting. But I don't know the dog breeds all that well any more...
I mean, if it's okay if I "play?" Not that it's a game or anything. I mean, I feel like a poser as I don't know if I do or don't have a therapist any more. Nothing officially stopped or anything, but our post-moving, long-distance, therapy-by-email and/or phone (for free) relationship is a little bumpy right now. But I know this board has always been accepting - if *I* say I still have a T. and something therapeutic is going on - then it is, right?
Since Dinah, you wanted to put threads in context, well, maybe I'll decide to post so you can. Or maybe not. I feel like I need my own board/community - my situation is so unorthodox.
Anyway, if I can think of some qualities, maybe a dog will come to mind....
He is unflappable like yours, but does come out of his chair when he really gets excited about some idea, or reassurance he's giving.....one time he tapped my knee with his finger! (We had to have a whole session about that touching...!) And, he gets louder, but not scary. Enthusiasm! He is full of joy about life mostly all the time. And not in an annoying way because it is *so* authentic.
He can be silly and corny and is unashamed to try out any analogy, any joke that pops into his head, if he thinks it'll make me smile to break tension, or help me understand what he means by something. He's very quick, bright, and at 62, easily knows as much about technology, etc., as someone decades younger might. He loves food and calls himself lazy re: exercise, getting unpleasant tasks done.
He has kind eyes and a gentle voice, but doesn't use the latter often enough. I think he tries, yet it sometimes comes out sort of patronizing and silly. I don't tell him that - it may be just a feature now of hearing him on the phone, which is incredibly weird and frustrating. He's okay on the phone, but so much is lost.
He's fairly short for a man, balding, overweight all in the tummy area. Smiles a lot and has the *most* infectious laugh - if you can listen to that without laughing yourself, well....I'd be amazed.
He can sit with strong feelings in the room so well. He can be so still while tears stream down my face. Quiet - but you feel his heart there with you, imagining how sad, bad, hurt you must feel. I really miss that. No one else in my life could really do that - a husband who got angry at tears, another who left the room, a SO who used to freeze, become mute and look terrified. My dear D. now - she tolerates it, and is polite and certainly not rejecting, but doesn't feel nearly as open and accepting as my T. I think it's the nearly-2-year-old g-daughter that's the best. She looks all somber, pats me, looks worried, sometimes tears up herself....but feels like she "gets" it. Like we don't *do* anything about crying - it just is. For me, that's cool. Why not, right? Who are better experts on strong emotions and tears than toddlers?!!! But I digress terribly.
Hmm..I know there are lots of other ways to describe him. Maybe 'cause I think he's acting so weird right now, I'm having trouble thinking of them. Distant, unresponsive and cryptic come to mind, and that has so *never* been him before!! So, disregard those.
Maybe my T. is like a mature Benji, from the movie? Or a sheepdog? Benji was a mutt, I'm sure, which I love. But a sheepdog might be close. Aren't they bright and happy and friendly and love people and helpful.....T. qualities, all. But T. doesn't feel "shaggy" enough.
When I was still there, he was dependable as a rock. Double-booked my appointment time once in 3.5 years. Only too sick to work one time. Sometimes runs late, but gives 60-65 minute sessions anyway, to all who want them, so it never mattered. Remembers really well all the stuff I've told him. Has some fidgeting habits that are really not cool. Rubbing fingers together, messing with his pants. Swiveling his chair. But he'll stop if you call him on it.
Well, I was scared to do this as I thought I might miss him more, but I feel a tiny bit better.
Sorry for the crazy leaps, digression and making it all about dogs! But I love that idea. I wish I had a dog.
This is/will be a great thread.
poster:10derHeart
thread:865092
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/865118.html