Posted by muffled on November 24, 2008, at 9:31:41
In reply to Re: (trigger) I just tried to post something about how » JayMac, posted by obsidian on November 22, 2008, at 23:03:07
> I don't know what's a problem, what makes a difference. My T is asking me what I want from therapy....valid question of course, but why now?
> because the marijuana use is contrary to it? or because he's been looking for a reason to tell me to f*ck off? because I am always so out of it?
> I can't deal with it all. I don't know anything. I want to disappear, and I don't even mean in the suicidal sense. I just want to disappear, go poof, cease to exist.
> ...anyway, thanks for the responses.
> take care,
> sid*I used to want to dissapear.
Now I don't. I am glad I am here.
Addictions suck bad. They really mess up your thinking.
Its just astonishing to look back with wonder at some of the b*llsh*t crap I used to con myself with regarding addictions.
I t could be that your T is getting frustrated Sid. NOT because he dislikes you but because he LIKES you and CARES.
I used to REALLY frustrate my old T, and right now I think my new T may be somewhat frustrated. But I guess it comes with the territory.
Is there any inpatient treatment programs(not hosp, but addictions treatment centers) you would be willing to do? I did one, I think it was a month and they taught us all kinds of stuff. Gave us vitamins and fed us good. They taught us the tricks that addictions plays on us. It was useful to clean up and get clearer in my head in a safe environment.
THEN it was easier to work on other stuff once all the crap was out of my system and I was physically much healthier.
We were allowed 'out' and I did some jogging as well and the excercise helped too. The structure was good as well.
So going into a treatment program IS kinda a way to go POOF from life, into a place where you can just concentrate on trying to be well.
Just a thot, cuz you do seem worried bout the drug use.
Anyhow, I been there and its hard, but getting out from under is possible.
Best wishes to ya Sid, you a good egg, I would like to follow babble and follow some of your journey towards a better life.
I think you can do it.
Its not easy, but if I, the queen of woosyiness can do it, then you can too.
(((Sid)))
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:864332
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/864991.html