Posted by Wittgensteinz on November 19, 2008, at 9:22:50
In reply to Re: Messy head, posted by maysie on November 16, 2008, at 0:33:51
Thank you Maysie and thank you to the others too.
These comments have really helped me.
I am at peace again with my T - there was no resolving but a moving on - probably we (I) will return to this at another point but at the moment this will have to do.
No one is perfect - my T included - I want him to be perfect (for me at least) - that would be ideal. My needs as a patient fluctuate - he also changes of course depending on what is going on in his life, that is inevitable. Sometimes these things just clash. It's not that nice accepting something that you don't really feel content with, but realise is just part of the package - I don't want to send the whole package back as I'd be more than a bit lost! There's a lot that I like very much about him, that is just right for me - what I need - and that's enough. This illuminates my problem of having too high expectations both of myself and of those around me - being good enough - I have to learn to be 'good enough'. My partner once described my T as a 'cold rubber duck' (sometimes he conjures up some interesting English) and I pledged to myself that if ever T is so cold to me again, I will call him just that! It will at least make me laugh.
I have to admit that sometimes I feel a tinge of jealousy when reading about other peoples' Ts - they seem more empathic, more caring, and I can imagine it might feel more comfortable and safe to be with them - now I feel like a traitor! - but again I think this is something of my pathology - looking elsewhere and seeing an idealised picture. Perhaps in truth, most of us would want something more or something slightly different if we had the power to bring it about, but in the mean time good enough is good enough.
Welcome to babble Maysie! I hope you find it helpful here.
Witti
poster:Wittgensteinz
thread:861841
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/863963.html