Posted by rskontos on November 9, 2008, at 17:05:14
In reply to Messy head, posted by Wittgensteinz on November 9, 2008, at 16:19:29
Witti,
I know how bad things were with your mom and so I don't think it is at all bad that you counted the hours until she was gone. It would hard to have a good relationship with her after all that transpired. Unless she has admitted to all of that which she did? I don't think that is the case. So no wonder your head is a mess. My father messed with mine as well so I know how hard it is. It is like a dual role that of adult/child all at the same time while appearing ok. Too hard, too stressful.
The deal with your t. I suspect that you must try and let him know just what the rupture meant to you, and still means to you.
And what you believe the "outcome" to be.I think he is projecting onto you the responsibility of you to not do something he doesn't want the responsibility of. And I feel that is just too much. If for some reason, he has feelings of inadeqency, too tired to look up spelling so forgive me, then he needs to seek professional help himself and not to put the burden on you to follow a contract.
Again, I think he is just not answering your needs at this fragile time for you.
Please be safe. If necessary do as your p-doc suggested and give yourself a break from all that is just not working at the moment.
You are a mess only because the avenues of safety have been breached. Your T is not feeling so safe right now and you had to deal with the one that made you not feel safe in the first place, your mom. So go easy on yourself.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:861841
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/861858.html